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I’m in Nashville, TN right now helping coordinate flood relief efforts. Nashville is a city of vintage neon signs, cowboys and country music. A city whose pulse can be felt in the beat of the kick drum from any number of bars in downtown…where going to karaoke is no fun because everyone who gets up to sing sounds like they have a couple of CMA’s on their shelves at home. (that’s country music awards for those not in the know).
But I’m not going to talk about the hats and boots…I’m here to recount an amazing story that will passed down from father-to-son as one of the greatest pseudo-sport achievements of all time.
one night while exploring the downtown area we came upon a bar with a quintessential aspect of cowboy culture…or quasi-urban cowboy culture: the mechanical bull. tucked in the corner of a bar that had an overpowering stench of bleach (it was it’s first night open since the flood) lay the bull–waiting to be broken.
I had no intention of riding said bull but was “roped” into it as someone else in our party didn’t want to be the only one to make a fool of themselves. Having rid myself of shame years ago I happily agreed to test my mettle against the metalic beast from hell. So i signed the waiver, paid my fee and contemplated what the next few minutes would hold. Because i’m slightly retarded i immediately start thinking about John Travolta in ‘Urban Cowboy’ and how I don’t have a hat, tight jeans or even a stormy relationship to bolster my performance…i would have to rely on the one thing that has gotten me through many a tough situation–heart.
before I knew it I was throwing my leg over the hydrolic beast, doing my best Luke Perry impression ala ’8 seconds’ I raised my hand and signaled my readiness to begin the dance.
…I could try to explain what happened next, but words would fail to capture my display of raw athleticism. I did so well that even a few of the old salty dogs at the bar shed a tear and tipped their hats out of respect.
now I’m not one to tell a tale er nuthin…but shucks–I sure beat the hide off that bull…i swear ta god i did.
i may have won the battle…but this war is far from over…
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